25 Things Most People Don’t Know About Me


  1. I grew up In West Virginia. This came up the other night, and my friend said, “I never knew that.” So here it is. I was there from age 7 to 13 or 14, what I have dubbed the “formative years”. The only reason I came back to Maryland is because my mother couldn’t handle me anymore.
  2. I used to be Christian. A lot of people assume that because I’m atheist, I’ve just never been introduced to religion. Wrong. I was not only Christian, but I was one of the hardcore Christians, preaching and condemning people to hell. As my life got worse though, my faith dried up and died. I still love the people I went to church with, and sometimes, I still get impulses to say things such as “Send your prayers” or “Praise Jesus!”
  3. In fifth grade, I read every book for my age group in the school library. We took tests after every book to kind of keep a written record of how many books we were reading (I think this was voluntary?). I won an award for most books read and got a medal that I still have. I tried to duplicate it the next year, but because I had read all the mature books, there wasn’t much left for me to read and I would test on the smaller books without having read them. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to duplicate my efforts.
  4. I used to be a girl scout, and you know what? I loved it. I started as a brownie in West Virginia and made it to a junior. The only reason I quit was because when we moved from White Sulphur to Lewisburg, I had to change troops and those girls were straight up bitches.
  5. I hated wearing jeans and refused to wear them. I used to just live off of sweatpants and any other non-jean material I could find. I think it’s because I associated jeans with overalls.
  6. My front two teeth are fake. When I was younger, my mom asked me to check the time. I ran into the kitchen in socked feet, slid and hit my face on the counter. When I came back to tell my mom, she asked what had happened to my teeth. Weird thing is, her front two teeth were replaced, too. I think M2’s was as well. I have rebroken only one tooth, but it has been several times. Once was opening applesauce. Another time was eating pizza crust.
  7. My grandma and I used to sew hanging calendars together. And by sew, I mean put sequins on it.
  8. I took two years of Spanish. I retained about one sentence.
  9. M2 and I hated each other growing up. My mother had turned me against her as the “woman who had broken up our family” and though I knew that wasn’t true, it didn’t change my feelings toward her. We fought almost constantly until I moved there at 13/14, and we slowly reached a better relationship, but it didn’t get to the one we have now until after she moved out of the house.
  10. I never got to believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, but for some reason, my parents let me believe in the tooth fairy.
  11. I actually used to like cats. I think that changed when I heard my father say that he hated them, and I adapted that from him.
  12. I’m actually not a big sweets fan. People think that because of my size, I love things like cupcakes and pastries, but it’s not true. Most of this weight is from soda. For some reason, pastries are just never appealing to me, maybe because I know homemade is always better and I’ve grown up in a homemade food kind of life.
  13. I have this really intense theory on déjà vu and how it ties in with how our dreams predict the future. I firmly believe that I have psychic powers because of this theory.
  14. I hate romantic movies because I secretly love them and know that life is not like that. Rather than setting myself up for disappointment, I just don’t watch them.
  15. I secretly want to marry into the Russian mob so that I can be a mob wife. That’s one of my top dreams.
  16. I had the same hole in my ear repierced 3 times. I kept letting the hole close up because my ears are super sensitive and would get infected. This past time, my grandmother and I got our ears repierced together. She let hers grow back but I never did.
  17. I would have my eyebrows and lip pierced if I wasn’t scared of it getting infected, as I know my history with piercings is not good.
  18. My first cigarette was when I was nine. My best friend at the time, Dana, had stolen my cousin’s pack and we went for a walk and she lit one up. I took a hit and was disgusted, swearing I would never smoke again. That held me until I had a dream about smoking a cigarette. I woke up craving the taste, and have been smoking since.
  19. I still miss working in a restaurant, though I’d never do it again, not for tips.
  20. I’m extremely shallow. No one ever assumes this of me, but it’s true.
  21. I hate compliments. I never know what to do with them, and I always want to refute them.
  22. My friends, Dana and Desiree, and I use to sing at the Gospel Warehouse. They’d have famous people sing (I guess famous?) and then we’d sing, too.
  23. I laugh when I’m nervous. I read this guy’s palm that I liked and it said he would have a horrible accident, and I couldn’t stop laughing while I was telling him, I liked him so much.
  24. I give REALLY great massages. If I didn’t have carpal tunnel in my wrists, I might think about it as a career.
  25. I’m a hypochondriac. I recognize this and manage to keep it under control, but I’m constantly assigning symptoms and diseases to myself. Like I don’t actually know that I have carpal tunnel. I just feel like I might cause my wrists ache sometimes. It helps that I pretty much refuse to go to the doctor’s office.

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