You’re seeing red. You have found yourself trapped, for lack of a better word, in a bad place, and you don’t know how to get out of this predicament you’re in. It sucks and you feel hopeless, lost, and just generally depressed. Tell me about it.
Here’s my bad situation: I am moving in 14 days to a nice, new apartment, but in the meantime, I have to deal with the roommates from hell. There’s the unstable girl who’s living with her boyfriend, the one that tried to push him down the stairs at 1am and told him that he couldn’t hit her because she’s a girl. There’s the creepy guy who lives on my floor who leaves his trash everywhere, uses my lotion to jack off, and has been eating meals in my room, on my bed. And let’s not forget whoever the jerk is that is eating all my food. IF YOU DIDN’T BUY IT, WHY ARE YOU EATING IT?
In the past, I would’ve immediately resorted to sabotage, but I’m trying something new, more adult here. Maybe your situation’s the same, maybe it’s different. Here are some guidelines that, I think, can be applied in nearly every bad situation. I hope they help!
- First and foremost, tell friends. You would be surprised how much better you will feel when you just have someone to rant to. Now, I know some people hate to involve others in their problems, but it’s nice to just have someone to have your back, especially because you probably feel all alone right now. Also, in my case, I posted on Facebook how I couldn’t buy groceries anymore, and a friend chipped right in and offered to let me use his fridge and kitchen. Friends help, trust me.
- It’s okay to be angry, but don’t let that dictate your actions. It is completely normal that you’re upset right now. I don’t know if anyone has told you that yet, but you should know. Anger is a natural emotion. Now, does that mean you should scream at your problems and throw temper tantrums and ,say, take all the food in the freezer and throw it in the dryer? No. Try to remain level-headed, even through your anger. I’ve had to make several phone calls to older friends of mine and ask, “What should I do here? This is what I want to do, and I know that’s not mature.” If you’re less passive-aggressive than me, confront the problem head on. Tell that person, if it is a person, the problems you are having, or if you have to, go a step higher. If it’s a problem with a roommate, tell the landlord or the person you’re subletting from. Make sure you have proof to back up claims though.
- Find your escape. Find something to take your mind off of the situation. Read a book, listen to music, internet, watch a movie, listen to This American Life. You can also just distance yourself from the situation as much as possible. In my case, only come home to sleep or pack, if I come home at all.
- Find your literal escape. I move in 14 days. I have another place lined up, so there is a light at the end of this tunnel. If it’s a job that is your bad situation, start applying EVERYWHERE. Keep track of how many applications you put in a day, and make sure you follow them up the next week. If it’s a living situation, find another place to live. If it’s that bad, humble yourself and ask family for help, at least temporarily while you find a better, safer place for yourself. If it involves a person, such as a significant other or family, if it’s really that bad, you might have to distance yourself from them, even if only for a short while.
- Try to see the humor in the situation. One day, you’re going to look back on this and laugh. “Can you believe that ever happened?” What’s keeping you from laughing now? Try to make this bad-ness into a joke. Laughter does actually make you happier, after all.
- Stay grateful. What’s going right with your life right now? Make lists, keep smiling, and stay thankful, because remember, it could ALWAYS be worse.
Trust me, these are all a lot easier said than done. It’s difficult to stay positive when something this major is just dampening your mood. Just remember, it won’t be like this forever. Keep those eyes on the prize, baby, and everything should turn out okay. 🙂